Onward and Upward

On December 13, 2022, I graduated Summa Cum Laude from the University of Maryland (Online Campus). I majored in Business Administration with a minor in English. I had other goals throughout the year that I did not stick to consistently, but I put school first, and it paid off wonderfully!

The holidays, celebrations, and life, in general, have not been very pleasant the past few months. Let me rephrase that. In some ways, they have been wonderful, but sickness has hit my family hard. Life-threatening illnesses, and as a caregiver to two members, I am stressed, emotional, worried, confused, angry, sad, happy, and hopeful all at the same time. It is a bit overwhelming.

I spent some time with my thoughts this morning. I wrapped up in my hoodie and sweatpants, stood on my front porch, and felt the cool breeze whip through my hair as I searched for that perfect angle as I watched the sunrise. Once the picture was snapped, I lifted my coffee cup, relishing in the warm steam emitting from my mug as I brought it to my lips. Welcoming the warm, glorious liquid of comforting brain juice.

I stood and watched until the colors faded. My neighbors probably think I am absolutely crazy because I will stand out in the cold dead of winter to stare at the sky.

It is okay that people label me crazy. I do think many of them confuse crazy with passion. So allow me to clarify…

I am bat-shit passionate!

As I looked around, I was reminded this morning of how much I love the little things. There have been several reminders of little things lately that warm my soul, and they bring with them a sense of hope.

Last October, I had a dream where I was sitting on a bench next to my mother. She looked happy and healthy, and I was glad she was no longer suffering. She grabbed my hand and told me that things were about to get very hard, and I would struggle for a bit, but then I would enter the next chapter of my life, and it would be better than anything I could possibly imagine.

I cannot say that this is some message of hope from the great beyond, but I am choosing to cling to the faith that it is. I need some good news in my life, and the dreams I have of the life I want to build are designed to feel like a life I do not need to take a vacation from. Before my mother died, she wrote me a letter. In that letter, she told me she wanted me to live life to the fullest. To chase my dreams, grab onto hope with both hands and fight for the life I want.

My mother had a love for geese. She loved hearing them as they flew overhead, she enjoyed watching them in the snow, and I never really understood her love for them until she was no longer living. This morning, while watching the sunrise, the geese flew overhead, and it made me think of my mom. The colors painted in the clouds reminded me that my future looks bright ahead, and while things are not great at the moment, there is always room for hope, especially as I work to achieve my dreams. Determined Kristian has taken over, and I can assure you from past experiences once that happens, there is no stopping me. I am as stubborn as the day is long. I will fight for the life I want!

Finally earning my bachelor’s degree and graduating with the highest honors taught me that I am capable of far more than I give myself credit for. I am determined to reach my health and fitness goals this year, and I would not call it a resolution, as I have been on this journey for a while now. It just took me a long time to find my balance. I am still not where I want to be, but I am further than where I started, and I am seeing progress, and that is what I am after… progress, not perfection.

I am determined to build a life full of little things: sunrises, sunsets, conversations over coffee, slow dances in the kitchen, laughter, and new memories.

I wish the same for you, my friends! Happy New Year!

Love & life lessons,


This entry was posted in Lessons, Personal, This Is Me and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Onward and Upward

  1. joyroses13 says:

    Oh Kristian this is so poignant and wonderful! (((Hugs))) for what you are going through. Being a caregiver is hard! ❤
    Love your dream! I believe dreams are very special and xan definitely spesk to us! Hold onto the hope and encouragement that your precious mom gave you!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The Hinoeuma says:

    Beautiful shot and sentiments. Sorry for your loss…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Paula Light says:

    Congratulations on your excellent achievement! 🥂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Brad Osborne says:

    Congratulations on earning your degree with honors! You have an amazing life ahead of you, young lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. utahan15 says:

    some are deep such as ye
    some are shallow and callous as i
    and that is why

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy New Year’s Kristian. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There was no need for words, for there are times when words can only hint at what the heart would wish to say. – Alexander McCall Smith

    And yet having said that – Bravo my friend on all counts. Time to do you proud to be you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Absolutely lovely post ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It isn’t up to me to matter in the scheme of your life, but girlfriend, I’m damned proud of you! What you’ve accomplished with your own life while simultaneously taking care of other people is a silent testament to how much strength and power lies within you. I want to join you on the porch watching the sun rise in the cold morning, steam rising from our coffee cups, content silence between us as we watch the majesty appear on the horizon.

    Oh, and yes, I love the little things, too! An ‘elderly’ couple holding hands as they walk along, a baby’s smile or giggle, the songs of the birds in the trees, the dance of flames in a fire and looking up at a cloud in the sky and being able to see a shape in its formation are just a few that come right to the top of my head.

    You are such an amazing person and I do hope that every one of your hopes and dreams (no matter what they are) comes true in their own time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      Your comments always bring me such great joy, my friend! I am so glad we connected, and I will always be grateful for it. I know we do not know each other extremely well, yet, but you already matter to me! I would love for you to join me as we sip coffee in silence and watch the sunrise!!

      You get me!! All those little things you have mentioned and more are what make life worth living!

      I really appreciate your wish for my hopes and dreams to come true! Thank you, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

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