Throwback Thursday #12

When I was looking back through my poetry to pick one for today’s post, I was torn on which one to choose.

I was talking with a friend the other day about how I feel I never truly found myself until I was in my thirties. By “found,” I mean I shed what no longer fed me. I let go of beliefs and morals I grew up believing that no longer fit my philosophies. I discovered parts of myself I never knew existed, and I embraced the sides of me I was conditioned to hate or hide from others.

While embarking on my self-discovery (I am still discovering new things), I wrote a lot of poetry about my findings, up to and including my sensuality.

I believe in reserving parts of myself that only my lover gets to witness. Then there are other sides only those closest to me will ever know. I like to maintain an element of mystery, but with that said, I think it’s important for women to embrace their sensual and sexual sides. I have always admired Samantha Jones’s character in “Sex and the City” because she has never been ashamed of her sexual side. I came to realize that I shouldn’t either, and I am a firm believer in sharing my truths because they might help other women embrace their sexuality.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying anyone should do, say, write, or wear anything they are uncomfortable with, but we should not be ashamed to tap into our sexual and sensual sides.

For me, it’s a guitar with a dirty or gritty riff. It sets all of my synapses on fire and unleashes the sensual beast within. It always works, it moves me, and I immediately want to sway my hips. It’s why I love the blues! (Any dirty-sounding guitar will do, though).

This is not my best poem. It is not terrible, it was good enough to make the cut, but I need to work on my flow. Anyway, I wrote this poem three years ago, and despite its lack of phenomenal quality, it came from a real place when I was learning to love myself and embrace all of my layers. (There are many). I hope you enjoy it, I hope it speaks to you, and ladies, I hope it encourages you to explore your sensual sides because you deserve to feel sexy and confident!

Love & life lessons,


My Burlesque Mind

last inhale

before it hits

hello mind

hello bliss

the bass starts to drop

the drumbeat slows

then the sweet, sweet sound

starts to flow

that dark blues guitar

glides straight through my veins

swells in my stomach

drives me insane

my hips lead the way

legs follow slowly

torso starts to sway

arms flow so smoothly

like wind beneath wings

fingers start roaming

across collar bones

reaching up behind ears

though hair starts combing

the music has me

firm in its grasp

I’m completely lost in it

swimming in a symphonic sea

this is where I come

when I need to find peace

moving to this guitar

 until I find my release

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19 Responses to Throwback Thursday #12

  1. Must be something about being 30!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Brad Osborne says:

    We find our true selves when we learn to let go of the expectations of others. Loved this powerful statement about self-expression. That is how you turn a pawn into a Queen!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Simon says:

    You started early compared to me… it doesn’t have to be the best poem, just the best way to describe what you’re feeling or thinking at at time. It’s always that perfection between energy and word.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      At least you arrived there, my friend. Unfortunately, some people are happy going through life with wool pulled over their eyes.

      Thank you, Simon. I agree that our poems don’t have to be the best to be shared or relatable. It’s impossible for all of them to be the best, but I always want to be the kind of person who strives for improvement. I like to think I haven’t written my best poem, yet. Until I can no longer write (please, just kill me if that ever happens), my best poem will always be my next one.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Simon says:

        That’s true and there always will be. It’s a shame for them in a way but in another to be aware of reality is also scary.
        I think every artist goes by the premise that their best work is to come, but I won’t kill you if you stop. This is for 2 reasons:
        1) I quite like you and I couldn’t.
        2) You can never write again if I did…
        Keep writing your best poems 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • kristianw84 says:

        Reality is scary, but burying our heads in the sand solves nothing. I do understand the need to take a break from time to time, but until we face and accept the hard truths, we are doomed to keep repeating our mistakes.

        I agree that most creatives strive to improve their work, as they should. I have had a few people tell me they have reached their peak and feel no need for further improvement. I had a few choice words for them. It might not have changed their minds, but it did teach them not to repeat that phrase in my presence. 🤣

        You have always been a good friend to me, Simon. Thank you! It would have to take a pretty strong force to get me to stop writing. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Simon says:

        Head in the sand is ignorant bliss for most…

        That’s a strange thing to think you’ve reached our peak and no more needs to be done, I suspect it’s not the case and they just think it is.

        I’ve done my best and I don’t think a force strong enough exists… but if it does then maybe your people like me can help you find it again… But I suspect it won’t be necessary 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  4. utahan15 says:

    today is tony hicks bday
    tony is in the band the hollies
    and sang
    the song stop stop
    about obsession with a table dancer.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The V Pub says:

    *desperately tunes up his 9 gauge super slinky strings on his guitar*

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jeff says:

    Love the poem, and really appreciate the discourse beforehand. As for the blues, I didn’t really learn to appreciate them until even later in life, probably around fifty or so. One of my regrets. There is just something about that gritty guitar that moves me. And, while it may not be “blues,” the guitar solo at the end of “Comfortably Numb” does things to me that I can’t even begin to describe.

    True story, while I’m waxing on. In 2004, I took our oldest daughter to the Crossroads Guitar Festival at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Two days of guitar-playing blues-rock (and a country act or two). On Saturday night, we saw John Mayer perform. All I knew of him was his cheesy pop songs that had gotten on the radio. The boy started playing the blues, and I had to pick my jaw up off the ground. Sister, that dude can PLAY the blues! I’ve been a fan ever since. A few years later, we saw him at another venue, and he closed out the show with a ten+ minute version of “I Don’t Need No Doctor,” probably made most famous by Ray Charles. Amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      I saw John Mayer play with Buddy Guy on an episode of Austin City Limits on PBS and it blew me away!! John Mayer does it for me! Haha.

      His “Keep me Where the Light is” album is phenomenal!! Songs like “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” and “Gravity” make me swoon. He is phenomenal!!

      A lot of Pink Floyd moves me. It doesn’t have to be Blues. Some Metallica songs do it for me, too!

      If you haven’t heard Gary Clark Jr. I highly recommend him!!

      I saw Johnny Lang play at a Vineyard in California, and my best friend took me to see Ray Lamantagne (sorta bluesy) for my 34th birthday!! I could wax music all night long!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jeff says:

        I’ve seen Buddy a couple of times. He was at that 2004 gig, along with BB King, Eric Clapton (who has become somewhat of a douche), and ZZ Top, who closed out the Sunday show. Eric Johnson played the same night as Mayer. I have heard Clark. I’m definitely a fan. And I remember when Lang first hit the scene. Does he still play barefoot?

        Liked by 1 person

      • kristianw84 says:

        I don’t recall him being barefoot, but this was back in 2007 and a lot was happening at the time. Yeah, I love Clapton’s music, but I am disappointed in the man.

        Liked by 1 person

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