Ya know what really burns my biscuits?
Double standards!
My best friend posted the following clip on Facebook:
She messaged me immediately after posting it, demanding I have a watch. Who am I to deny my best friend anything her heart desires? As soon as I watched it, we delved into a deep conversation about what it’s like to be a woman and how many double standards there are when it comes to men and women.
Sasheer is right. I have never heard anyone say, “Oh, look, there’s Bill with his resting dick face.”
I never really thought much of it, but Sasheer also points out that women are always expected to smile, but men aren’t. I can’t tell you how often I’ve been told I’m too pretty to be sad.
Has anyone ever told a man he’s too handsome to be sad? I think not. It’s infuriating!
Sasheer’s mention of how women have been conditioned to apologize for things we are not sorry for really opened my eyes. I apologize all the time, even to inanimate objects.
I believe those that know me best would agree that “Odd but harmless” sums me up pretty well. Haha!
But seriously, I have apologized for so many things so long that it is a hard habit to break.
Amanda and I have repeatedly told each other, “I don’t need to apologize for x, but I’m sorry for x.”
I now have a deeper understanding of the phrase, “This is a man’s world.” Women don’t feel the need to apologize for being a woman in a man’s world, but we apologize and fake smiles anyway.
Another phrase I have heard one too many times, from both men and women, is:
“You’re too pretty to be so intelligent.”
What does that statement even mean? I do not understand the correlation between one’s physical appearance and IQ. And again, I have never heard anyone tell a man he’s too handsome to be so intelligent.
Lastly, if a woman complains and demands to see the manager, they call her a Karen. This makes me feel sad for women actually named Karen. Also, there’s no male equivalent for that statement. If a man complains and demands to speak to a manager, nobody says, “He’s a Kevin.”
And while we’re nearing the topic, ya know what else burns my biscuits?
Why is it that when a man is seen as weak or cowardly, he is called a p*ssy, but if he is bold and fearless, he has balls?
I mean, vaginas can take a pounding and push tiny humans out of them, but if you barely strike a scrotum, it will bring even Superman to his knees.
Yeah, double standards…
What burns your biscuits?
Love & life lessons,
Kristian
Life Lessons From Around the Dinner Table 
The “karen” thing drives me nuts. First, you’re right, and there’s nothing comparable said about the kind of man who gets angry when denied proper service. And they exist! You can hear them yelling and complaining! But if a woman dares to ask for the service she is due, she’s labeled a problem. God forbid she requests the manager to fix the issue. Why shouldn’t a woman get the product or service she’s paid for? Why is this even a thing to mock?
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Honestly, when I worked costumer service, the majority of hostile complainers were men. I agree, it frustrates me that these phrases even exist. I feel like it’s just another ploy to try to make women feel bad for speaking up for themselves.
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I am not sure I am brave enough to counter any of the points you have made here in public. But I do think you may be oversimplifying the dynamics. I will agree that women do not tell men they are so attractive that they should not be sad or intelligent. Rarely do our egos need the boost anyway, but I feel like it would be taken by most men as a compliment. The other side of this coin is when your feminine wiles play into being treated differently and to your benefit. I have never flashed some cleavage and batted my eyes out of a speeding ticket. Just saying….
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I don’t proclaim that women can get away with things men often can’t. They can, and that’s also a double standard. Nor do I proclaim that women are in any way “superior” to men.
My issue with being told to smile ALL the time is why is that expected of me? Why do I always have to have a smile on my face? And when I don’t smile, I’m accused of being a bitch! If people went around telling you that you should smile every time you didn’t or called you a dick when you are simply remaining idle, minding your own business, maybe you’d think differently.
And why do so many people think a woman can either be beautiful or intelligent and not both?
I am not trying to make men out to be the bad guy by any means. I don’t think that at all, but you have to admit there is no male equivalent to these phrases when men do the same things!
And for the record, I have never intentionally flashed some cleavage or flirted my way out of a speeding ticket. I leave my purse in the backseat so I have to turn to reach for it. What the cop chooses to look at while I’m reaching for my purse so I can grab my license is on him. 😉🤣
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Just to be clear, I can be a dick regardless of the look on my face! 🤣
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I have never experienced that from you, but I do not doubt it. 🤣 Like Sasheer mentioned, I have active bitch face. If I’m being a bitch, people know it!
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Of that I am certain!
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so grahams right
be a good guy
face forward
mouth shut~
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I agree that there are words and phrases said to women, almost offhandedly, to have negativity attached to them, and that those or similar phrases about the same thing are never spoken to a male. However, I do think that women THINK about phrases they would like to say back that are equally negative (for example, “Try thinking with the head above your shoulders”) that no one would ever say to a woman. I also believe that woman offer more body language clues than men do to make a ‘statement’ of negativity. Why are we, as women, not willing to be so open with our criticism of a man??? What is it we fear will happen if we don’t speak as openly and honestly about what we’re thinking at those moments??
I’m not saying that I think being verbally caustic is a good thing to do – in either direction – but until we do more than complain about it with our girlfriends, it’s not going to stop. I’m suggesting simply that, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!
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I wholeheartedly agree. I am guilty of complaining about these types of things with my girlfriends, but my biscuits are burned more over the fact that these negative phrases towards women even exist. There are some women who like to cause a scene and make it harder for the rest of us.
I will say, I have never had an issue standing up to a man (or woman) when I am offended. But I do agree that it takes every woman standing up to end the negativity. I appreciate your insight.
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I actually have heard a few men called “Kevins.” But that’s beside the point. Your “rant” is spot on, my friend. As a man, myself, through no choice of my own, it both saddens me and angers me when I observe the kind of double standards that you are pointing out. For the record, it “burns my biscuits,” as well.
I grew up Southern Baptist, so you can imagine the kind of crap I have heard in my life. One of the biggest was the expectation that, when swimming together (which wasn’t even allowed for many years), girls had to wear t-shirts over their swimsuits, while boys didn’t. How is that fair? And it was always the girls who were expected to dress “respectably,” so as not to tempt the boys. HOW ABOUT WE TEACH THE BOYS TO CONTROL THEIR FREAKIN’ HORMONES!!!!
Ahem.
By the way, I love that last paragraph. I salute you for that one!
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Oh, yes. The dress codes are definitely another issue. And yes!!! Let’s start teaching boys to respect women rather than objectify them.
I grew up in a nondenominational church, and I was a leading angel in a Christmas play, and the pastor asked the choir director to move me in the back because I developed early and at 16, my womanly figure distracted from the message. I responded, “Maybe you should take a look inward and ask yourself why you are focusing more an a 16-year-old’s body than the message of Jesus. God gave me this body, I can’t help it. Take it up with Him.” I didn’t do the play and left that church.
Thank you for your support! I appreciate you!
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GOOD FOR YOU!!! Hah!! You made a fantastic statement!
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It is what it is – some people have double standards many do not. I experienced it only tonight in a commitee meeting – it is what it is. Just make sure it doesn’t define you, steer clear of the toxicity and don’t let it burn ya biscuits, just move on, life’s too short. In shorter layman’s terms people suck.
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I wholeheartedly agree with you. It’s an irritant, but I let it roll off my shoulders. I am not easily offended, but I have no problem calling people out on their shit when I need to. I look sweet (and I mostly am), but if someone provokes the beast in me, they deserve the wrath!
For the most part, however, I take the “Dudeist approach.” I shrug my shoulders, smile politely, look them in the eye and say, “Yeah? Well, thats just like your opinion, man.” 🙂 I do believe in trying to educate others, though. It is always my hope to enlighten someone. Those rare gems that can can look inward and take responsibility for their actions are sadly far and few between, but they are out there!
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“Dick Face” Hahahaha
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It’s going to be my new phrase. “Excuse me, sir, your dick face is showing!” 🤣
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Do it! Hahahaha
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A strike to the scrotum definitely burns my biscuits. 😉
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Ha! I would imagine so!
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