On The Eve Of Turning 36

I have been thinking of you –

the seed I never sowed

the bun I never baked.


I feel it –

the eleventh month

of my body

and the calendar.


Tomorrow will be my birthday.


My spring is gone

and although it is November,

summer is upon me –

rude in its ripening


November harvests the womb –

with its incessant ticking

of my youth.

Tick – I’m still here

Tock – But I’m fading away.


I see it when I touch the silver curls.


I would have loved you, you know?

The seed I never sowed.

The bun I never baked.


And I think of the women before me –

how they loved.


What am I supposed to do with all of this love?

reserved for a bun that will never rise?

a seed that never stood the chance of being sowed

in the earth?


What would they say?

The Virgos

with their impending wisdom?


I think I know –

especially the first Virgo,

a little rougher than the second.


“Scorpio!” They would say.

“Dancing temptress and venomous blood flow through you.”

“But unlike the scorpion, who eats her mate –

You –

bake and love,

and cook and love,

and sing and love,

and write and love,

and give your heart

to all that has meaning.”


So while November harvests,

and summer so rudely ripens,

and the scorpion eats her mate,

and the womb keeps incessantly ticking –


I will not fear tomorrow

or the ticking of the empty womb.

For it is not baking a bun

nor sowing a seed

that makes me a woman.


And I have so much love left to give

and many more miles to keep giving –


and baking

and cooking

and singing

and writing


and loving

and loving

and loving

and loving.



This entry was posted in Favorites, Personal, Poetry, This Is Me and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

76 Responses to On The Eve Of Turning 36

  1. Sadje says:

    A happy birthday Kristian. Live and love without regrets. There so much more life to live.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Paula Light says:

    Happy birthday! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I think you are gonna make it to 37!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What.a heartbreaking beautiful brithday poem, Happy Birthday Kristian πŸ’›πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

  5. A beautiful poem of personal moments. Happy birthday πŸŒˆπŸ¬πŸ’ƒπŸ‘πŸŽ‰

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Brad Osborne says:

    Your poem is exceptional. An honest and personal look at the trials and tribulations of a life unlived. Your openess delivers your words with great power and perception. It is hard not to share the feelings you exude. I hope you find peace in the knowledge that the love you share is just as important as any other. Happy Birthday, you beautiful woman!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hey Madam k , happy 36th πŸ™‚ To help you walk more than a mere 500 miles however is The Hello πŸ™‚

    https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2020/11/12/the-hello-306/

    Liked by 1 person

  8. -Eugenia says:

    Happy Birthday, Kristian! πŸŽ‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The V Pub says:

    Happy Birthday, Kristian!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy Birthday, Kristian πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Happy Birthday and many, many, many more to come! you have an exceptional gift!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. saramincy says:

    Wow!! So hauntingly beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. You made it to 36!🀠πŸ”₯

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Happy birthday!! I didn’t realize how close we are in age! You look absolutely gorgeous 😍 ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Such a powerful post, great job! ❀😘

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Amir says:

    Happy birthday to you Kristen… Its surprising that the most important women in my life were all born in November 🀣. On this eve I pray you to get pregnant and give birth to someone as deeply beautiful and awesome like yourself ❀️. Amen!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The Eclectic Contrarian says:

    Happy belated birthday!

    I remember when I was 36…..πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Austin says:

    Beautiful. Happy Belated Birthday. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s