Where Is The Love?


I sat on the couch sipping my white wine sangria as I watched the golden rays of the sun filter through the dark clouds, casting their light upon the tall pine trees that surround my property. In that moment of solitude I felt comforted, as if the sun’s light was shedding rays of hope through the state of darkness our country is currently in.

rays of light

I have always known that racism was a big issue in this country, but I guess I never truly grasped the seriousness of it until I saw that video of a Minneapolis police officer kneeling on George Floyd’s neck. I have been struggling with how to unpack these thoughts and emotions I have been feeling through all of this. I can’t believe this is the world we are living in, I can’t believe how much hatred and violence is stirring in the hearts of man and on the streets of our cities.

I will never truly understand because my skin affords me that luxury, but I want to educate myself and learn all that I possibly can about the struggles my black brothers and sisters face on a daily basis.


My cousin, who is more like a sister to me, adopted a beautiful, black baby girl a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Ivy Rose and she is my niece. I believe that it takes a village to raise a child, and while I know she has entered into a loving home with two parents that have already shown and will continue to show her nothing but unconditional love, I want her to know she has an aunt she can turn to in any circumstance. An aunt that will make a point to show her the beauty in the world, an aunt that will never understand the judgement she will inevitably face, but will hold her hand and stand by her side at all times. And let me tell you something, if anyone is stupid enough to even try and mess with my niece, they will have to get through me. Unfortunately, this is directed towards some of my own family members. I might lose contact with a few of them, but that’s okay. I stood up for my cousin who read a passage from the Bible at my wedding. Certain people frowned upon it because she was a lesbian, but I was willing to cut ties then and I am now. I no longer care about who thinks what of me. It is my heart that I have to worry about and I would rather my cousin and niece know they can come to me with anything than worry about a few racist family members. There comes a point in all of our lives when we have to realize who is toxic, and as much as it might pain me to cut those ties due to fond childhood memories, I am no longer a child, and I refuse to surround myself with bigots or hearts full of hate.

love is the answer

I will no longer be silenced, but I still choose to focus on the good. I am tired of having to explain why the Black Lives Matter movement does not mean that other lives do not matter, but I will keep explaining until my final breath. My black brothers and sisters deserve it. Ivy Rose deserves it.

I have been doing what I can in my little town. I have signed petitions, I have been researching and educating myself. When the world opens back up and it is safe to go exploring, I plan to visit historical places and learn more about black history. I want to learn all that I can, because as I mentioned, it takes a village, and I want my new niece to know she has family that takes an interest in her history and wants to help her learn where she came from. It will be her voice that will be heard, it is her generation that has the potential to change the world, and it is up to us to help guide them towards those goals.

black lives matter

I have also been making more of an effort to spend quality time with people I love. I have been calling my dad every day or every other day rather than a couple of days a week. I have been spending more hours texting, talking, and sharing pictures with my brother.

I have been sending my nieces in California care packages and reaching out to them to let them know how proud I am of them and how much their auntie loves and misses them. It breaks my heart that I can’t hug them and annoy them with cuddles right now.

I have been spending more time with nature and less time with technology. I still have my phone on me a lot because I take a lot of pictures and I text or message my friends and loved ones throughout the day, but I have been spending much less time on Social Media.


I am growing concerned at how quickly I become attached to the wildlife that visits me while I sit on my porch or on my sofa staring out my screen door. A robin made a nest on our porch and I grew attached to her baby. I was blessed enough to witness they baby fly from the nest, but I also kept a close eye on the baby bird, making sure it was okay. I cried last evening as I watched a bunny limp around my yard, one of its hind legs was broken, and I know this poor rabbit will most likely not make it. I’m tearing up right now. What is wrong with me?


If only I looked that cute while I cried.

I encourage all of you to find ways that you can help. To educate yourselves and not be afraid to speak out against your racist friends and family members, and if they cut ties with you, get a hold of me. I will gladly adopt you into my family!

I also encourage you to make time for yourself. It is important to speak out and learn, but I know how overwhelming that can be too. It is important to make sure you take time for yourself. It’s not selfish to disconnect once in a while and spend time doing whatever brings you comfort. You are no help to anyone if you lose your sanity.

We’re in this together, friends. The only way we can drive out hate is with love. Let’s band together and kill them with love and kindness!

Love & life lessons,


This entry was posted in Lessons, Personal and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Where Is The Love?

  1. The V Pub says:

    It was horrible to see what happened to George, and I understand the outrage. I only wish there were even a tiny mention in their protests over David Dorn, or Dave Patrick Underwood, who were both black, and both killed during the George Floyd protests.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      I agree. I think we all need to honor the countless unhashtagged humans killed. If nobody had recorded that video, those police officers would have gotten away with murder. How often does that happen? How many murders by those sworn to serve and protect go unannounced? Sad, indeed!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadje says:

    You go Kristian. Good ideas for you baby niece

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Laura Beth says:

    I teared up when you talked about Ivy Rose. I’m the same way about my niece, Mia, who is Cambodian-American. Anybody messes with her – They’ll face my wrath. Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Francisco Bravo Cabrera says:

    Although I was a police officer in the US for many many years and in a big city, I never had to resort to that kind of violence. I was spit at, I was threatened, I had guns pulled on me, I was shot at and I never retaliated because of anger or revenge and no matter how some people tried to “piss me off” I never took the bait. And during my thirty year service I never met anyone who killed someone in an unjustifiable manner. The police in the United States have gotten too militarised. Funny how here in Spain you know how many people have died at the hands of the police in the last year? Zero…BUT…no one has the right under the law or under the Constitution, to resist arrest. No one has the right to assault police officers, or to throw things at them or to hurt them in any way. A rogue police officer must be dealt with, he/she is a disgrace to the entire force, or to the entire profession of Law Enforcement. But to go out in the streets, destroy, loot, kill others, hurt others and attempt to bring down the structures of society, is not the way to change things. I, like you, while in the US, never felt any kind of discrimination, even thought I was a foreigner, because I am a white European male and I certainly do not know how black people felt, but I knew, instinctively, that they did not have it that easily although I had high ranking police superiors in my chain of command that were black. Still, I knew it was different for them. The reason? Because in the US they count people in accordance to their race and ethnic origin. You cannot have a nation of equals if someone is labelled white, another black and another hispanic (although a Hispanic is someone born here, in the Iberian peninsula in Europe, not in America)…think of that my friend…All the best Kristian, stay safe, stay sipping that sangria and take good care,

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      Thank you, Francisco. And please know, this is not a stab at police officers. I respect our law enforcement, at least the ones who took an oath seriously. It’s hard to respect a man in uniform who uses his power for evil, and fortunately, I’ve seen a lot of them. Unfortunately, there are assholes out there who take advantage of the situation by looting. I agree, violence is never the answer, but I do think we need to listen and try to understand the voices behind the anger. To quote the Beatles: “We all want to change the world, but when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out.” I’m all for peaceful protests. I agree in speaking up and aggressiveness, but I also believe in respect for innocent lives and people’s properties. I will keep sipping sangria & holding onto hope.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s