An Excerpt From My Current WIP

writing-quotes-dreamers

I have written many sections of the current novel I am working on. I am taking an idea from the story I wrote last year called Blue Haven and combining it with another idea I had for a book.

It turns out the two ideas work very well together, but it was easier to write each idea separately, and now I’m working on bringing them together with a natural flow.

The thing I had been struggling the most with was the beginning. I kept trying to explain things too much rather than just simply starting the story. So I kept walking away from it.

Well, I had a bit of an epiphany, and this is the result that came of it, and I’ve decided to use this as the start of my novel, and I thought I would share it with all of you!

I might share a part two, I haven’t decided yet, but you’re not getting much because I really want you to buy the book! Lol. Sorry, not sorry!


I am going to make this more appealing for all of you since it is a blog post, including pictures and such, but it won’t be that way in the novel.

Anyway, I have decided to stick with the title “Blue Haven,” and I really hope you enjoy this excerpt.

Blue Haven

Lauren had lost count of how many times she had unsuccessfully tried to contact Jared. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him, or what it was about her that he didn’t find attractive, but she wasn’t quite ready to let him go yet. The way they had met had blown her mind, no one meets that way, it had to be fate, but tonight, just for tonight, she was putting him behind her and focusing on the three people in her life that meant the most to her. Her best friends, Amanda Jones, Christen Mikkelsen and David Custer.

Out of the three, she had known David the longest. He was the most flamboyant 5-year-old she had ever met. He would come to school wearing neon colored button up shirts, and would exuberantly shout the answer to the teachers, for example, “two plus two is four.” he would say in the most high octave, sing-song, way he could muster. Even though she was in her forties now, she still felt guilty for ignoring him when she first met him. She was friends with his cousin and she knew that his behavior was frowned upon, but she didn’t understand why. She was only a child and 1990 was a different time than it is today. As they grew older and Lauren heard the insults the other kids were hurling his way, she started defending him. After they both joined the band in middle school, they became inseparable. David had been through every major milestone with her. He took her to homecoming when her date bailed on her at the last minute; he stood by her side when she got married; he was the second, after her husband to hold her son; and he was there to hold her when she buried both of them, plus her parents.

So as Lauren thickened her eyeliner, she reminded herself that tonight wasn’t about Jared, it was about her friends.

seattle

They all met at The Purple Haze, a laid back bar known for booking mostly blues and funk bands and served wine in mason jars. Even more magical was the view, the bar sat right on the Washington shoreline and across the water was the magnificent Seattle skyline. The bar had an enormous deck and patio, and the view was perfect no matter where one stood.

jared

Jared ordered a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, he remembered reading one of Lauren’s blog post where she mentioned that it was one of her favorites. He chose a table nestled in a dark corner, one with a perfect view of the dance floor, and the beautiful woman who had caught his attention a few years ago. He poured a little wine for himself and fell deeper in love with every sway of her hips. The truth was he was petrified, it’s why he had been avoiding her lately, but he realized he was wrong, and he had a feeling she would show up at this bar tonight. While he was here, he figured a little gazing wouldn’t hurt. He sat and continued to watch her dance, and when the folk music turned a little slower, and that guitar started to sound a little more bluesy, Jared noticed the entire room couldn’t help but notice how the guitar seemed to have control over her. Her movements were so in tune with the rhythm, it looked as though she had been rehearsing her moves with the band, for she knew each note so perfectly. She wasn’t just dancing, she was painting a picture, and her body was the paint brush. His mind starts to wander, and he imagines her in the privacy of her own home, in that Beatles tee-shirt he loves so much, the one she’s currently wearing, only in this fantasy she’s not wearing much else. She’s dancing around to the beat, while he’s sat at the kitchen island, a gin and tonic in his hands, and his eyes are fixed on Lauren as her hips move so gracefully back and forth, in tune with her shoulder movements as she stirs her homemade butter garlic, pasta sauce. She knows that he’s watching, so she teases him a little, dropping down to the floor, shaking her ass as she moved, oh so slowly.

The very loud crash of a cymbal broke Jared’s reverie, and he suddenly felt like he had become the creepy guy, sitting along in a dark corner, thinking impure thoughts as he watches the woman he is falling in love with dance so sensually.

Lauren

Jared knew he shouldn’t have been staring, it was impolite, and she deserved better, but how in the hell was he supposed to keep his eyes off of her? Not only was she mesmerizing, but the fact that she didn’t care that the entire bar, including the band, was staring at her and her friends. They were all lost in a symphonic sea, being carried away by the waves, each one moving to their own beat, and neither of them giving a damn about what anyone else thought about it. It was an anomaly, and that difference drew him in, and as soon as she turned his direction, and her eyes met his while never stopping her movements, he knew he was either about to embark on the best time of his life, or he would find himself completely broken. The only question left to answer now, is she worth it?


I am open to advice and constructive criticism. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you!

Love and life lessons,

Kristian

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15 Responses to An Excerpt From My Current WIP

  1. Brad Osborne says:

    Line 15 – the word should be “inseparable”, not “insuperable”.
    Line 16, 17, 18 – I would suggest a semi-colon after “minute”, “married”, and “son”
    Line 38 – moves with “the” band
    Last 49 – watches “the” woman

    This is a great beginning to a story, Kristian! I immediately want to know more about the characters. I am curious as to Lauren’s reaction to hearing about his devout love he has kept hidden for so long.

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      Geez, I guess I should have done a little more editing to my rough draft before publishing. 🤦‍♀️ Thanks, Brad!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Brad Osborne says:

        Not at all, Kristian! This is all stuff an editor will take care of in final. Editing is difficult when, as a writer, you are immersed in the story. I hope I did not overstep here, just wanted your published excerpt to read well. The story can stand on its own. You know I ❤your art!

        Liked by 1 person

      • kristianw84 says:

        Oh, no!! I greatly appreciate the help/advice. My writing can only improve by listening to my readers. And, I asked for it. I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so I typically will read over my work a few times before I post it. Especially fiction, it usually takes me days! Lol. But in my defense I am battling a cold, & I sorta rushed through editing because I wanted to watch “This Is Us.” Haha. I probably should have waited until I took the time to really go through it before I posted it. So thank you, because as you mentioned, I think it’s easy for writers to overlook their mistakes when they are immersed in their story! I greatly appreciate you & your support. Thank you! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      • Brad Osborne says:

        Hope you feel better soon and I look forward to your posts! 😘

        Liked by 1 person

      • kristianw84 says:

        Thank you! I look forward to catching up on your posts. I love your poetry! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. mehjabinh says:

    Kristian, I think that the first two paragraphs are absolutely brilliant! They do well to arouse the curiosity of the reader. Good luck with the book!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sadje says:

    Very interesting and riveting read!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Laura Beth says:

    I’m looking forward to buying the book!

    Liked by 1 person

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