I have been trapped in my own head lately, and to be completely honest, the past 3 weeks have been absolute hell, sans the weekends.
Against my better judgement I have allowed my emotions to control me and I allowed said emotions to control my work ethic, or rather, lack there of. I am so far behind, and I have no one to blame but myself, and I knew, I remember thinking that this was going to come around to bite my perfectionist ass, and it has, tenfold! So now, I feel like I can’t even breathe because I have piles upon piles of paperwork that needs my attention, but I have to keep pushing it to the back burner because I have a lot of people who need me to electronically file their taxes, and since it’s their money, I have to give that priority, everything else just has to wait, but the stress of it all is getting the best of me.
I want to go into a dark room, by myself, and cry and scream my frustrations out, but that’s not possible right now. And even if I could take time off work, it would only put me even further behind!
I have been down this road before, and I’ve never liked the outcome, so I’m pulling up my big girl boy-shorts,( <– that sounds like an oxymoron,) and dealing with it, because that’s what strong, determined women do, and I am an exceptionally strong and determined woman.
So instead of allowing my anger and frustration to consume me, I poured myself a glass of butterscotch wine, and put on the blues.
The blues with the dirty sounding guitar that sinks its teeth into my veins and takes control of my body! This is just what I needed, especially after a long lavender bubble bath which helped relax my muscles.
This was exactly what I needed, I could literally feel the tension leave my body with each sway of my hips and thrust of my pelvis. I love the power this genre of music has over me. I become this woman that I don’t normally recognize when I look in the mirror. She is confident, fearless, sexy, and unapologetic for doing whatever it is she needs to do for her own sanity. I really need to allow this woman to come out to play more often!
So if you find yourself feeling weighed down by all of your trials, failures, and future goals that seem impossibly out of reach, maybe this music will take over your body until you find yourself on your knees, allowing the stress to pour out of your body with each note that passes through you. Just like it does for me.
Love & life lessons,