Complicated Beings

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I have been wracking my brain, thinking of a unique post I can do for my upcoming birthday in November, since this is a milestone birthday. At first I thought of doing 35 lessons I’ve learned, but that would be an extremely long post, because I haven’t quite figured out how to not be so detail oriented. I don’t think I’m going to go this route, because I like to write what I’m feeling in the moment. Don’t worry, I’ll think of something, but I am open to suggestions…hint, hint!

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After talking with a friend recently, I learned another hard lesson. People are often not who you think they are.

I suppose the only person I can blame for some of my disappointments is myself, because I expect far too much from people. When will I realize that a lot of people aren’t willing to go as far or care as deeply as I do? <— Not All people, but a lot of people.

People like to complicate things, and they play these ridiculous games. I hear so often “I only comment on the blogs of people who comment on mine.” I don’t get this. If you read something and it inspires you, or resonates with you, or you just think it’s a great piece of writing, why not say so?

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I remember talking to a coworker about dating, this woman is in her 50’s, and she met someone she really liked, but she refused to text him until 3 days after their first date because she didn’t want to appear needy. I mean, I get not wanting to text every minute of every day, or coming off as some creepy stalker, but she was chomping at the bit, wanting to talk to him.  Wouldn’t it be better to just write a simple text that said something along the lines of “Good morning, I really enjoyed our time together last night. I hope you have a wonderful day.” ? Just something quick and simple to let the poor guy know she enjoyed herself?  I also understand the fear of rejection, but it’s it better to find out sooner rather than later? Isn’t it better to just take the risk rather than leave your stomach in knots wondering what if?

I also don’t do nice things for people expecting something in return, but it seems a lot of people have ulterior motives behind the things they do. They give out random compliments because they expect it in return. They comment on blog posts, expecting comments back, they help a friend move so they have something to hang over their heads the next time they have a need.

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I can assure you, if I comment or like your posts, it’s because I genuinely like them, and I want you to know I enjoy what you write. I appreciate every single comment I get, and of course I like seeing those notifications pop up, who doesn’t? But that is not the reason I comment. If no one bothered to read what I post, I would still keep on writing because it’s something I enjoy.

And if I don’t comment it’s usually because I either don’t know what to say, I don’t like the holier than thou attitudes, or I’m behind in my blog reading because like everyone, I have a life outside of blogging, and sometimes I don’t get to read as much as I like.

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So I want to encourage you, my friends, to just be you, and not worry so much about what others say, think, or do, because in the end, it doesn’t really matter. If you have something to say, say it. If you are missing someone, tell them. There is no need to complicate things, life is too short to be so damn complicated.

be who you are

And be grateful for the people in your life who genuinely care about your well being. Who check in with you, encourage you, and support you for the simple fact that they love & care about you, and not for any other reason. I am finding that these people are few and far between. They are one of life’s greatest gifts, and I want to give a big shout out to those people in my life! I cherish you more than you could ever know!! ❤

ulterior motives

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

 

 

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24 Responses to Complicated Beings

  1. The Eclectic Contrarian says:

    Me? Lol! 🤦‍♂️

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Sadje says:

    An inspiring message.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Laura Beth says:

    As I get older, my “circle” gets smaller and smaller. And I’m realizing that’s a good thing!

    Liked by 3 people

    • kristianw84 says:

      Yes! I was slapped in the face after my mom died. A woman I called my best friend for almost 20 years wasn’t there for me. When I needed her the most. She never even so much as sent me a text to see if I was alright. Then I found out she was getting married, & she never told me. I never did anything to her. I haven’t spoken to her since. But she started hanging out with a woman near 40 who still likes to party hard & what not, & I guess our friendship was more out of convenience than actual friendship. I had nothing to offer her anymore after my heart was broken. I was bitter for a long time, but now I wish her well & hope she’s happy. Another part of me feels sorry for her that in order for her to fill a void she has to drink till she passes out & party like she’s 18. But to each their own. I’m grateful for the few very close & very dependable friends I do have! Thank you for being one of them!! ❤❤

      Liked by 2 people

  4. sundaymorningwithsandy.com says:

    I have so many things I can say here … I totally get all of it! I comment on peoples blogs for many reasons. Either I can relate to what they are saying or it’s a beautiful heartfelt story or because they need support. Only a couple bloggers respond to mine, but I still have to be me. I am always behind on reading! I try and catch up when I can, but that darn email is soooo intimidating at times. Since it sounds like I am 20 years ahead of you, I will tell you that some of these things never stop, but you will find it happens less and less. I have recently been very disappointed in a few friends that were not there after a tragic death in our family, but others that were and I was surprised! We just keep learning but you get better at it and you will find it isn’t as disappointing anymore. I don’t have a lot of expectations and stay true to myself and it is a lot less hurtful. I do have a great support system and a lot of friends, but they are small different circles. Different friends from different parts of my life. Anyway, sorry for rambling!! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

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