Soulful Sunday #13 -Nonconforming

Famous Comfort Zone Quotes and Step Outside Your Comfort Zone! | Words To Live By | Comfort Zone

We have all heard the quote “The more things change, the more things stay the same.” I never really understood what this meant until I started changing.

As I continue to grow, and learn, and adopt my own beliefs, I discover how many of my peers still believe in the same things they have been taught since they were children. This is not necessarily a bad thing, please don’t get me wrong, however; I have noticed that when I ask certain friends or coworkers “What exactly is it about conservative politics that makes you identify with that side?” Almost every single one of them say, “Well my parents were Republican and that’s the way I was brought up.”

This baffles me, so that’s it? You’re not going to take the initiative to research these beliefs on your own, you’re just going to accept the way that you’ve been taught is how you should base your political views? And this isn’t just politics. It’s religion, a way of life in general. So many people believe what they believe only because it’s what their parents taught them.

I dearly love my parents, I am lucky. I had two wonderful, smart, and kind people raise me, and my mom is no longer here, but we butted heads a lot. I was never one to accept things just because “that’s the way it’s always been.” I’m sorry, but that way of thinking is utter bullshit! I have my own brain, and my own thoughts. So why should I accept that something is the way it is? Or believe something just because my parents believed that way?  NO! I have every right to learn a multitude of different ways of life and figure out which one is best for me.

I have also found that these same people are often not happy in their lives.. They work jobs that they hate, but they stay because they are comfortable. They stay in relationships that aren’t fulfilling, but they become too dependent and too comfortable to ever leave, but they’ll still complain and say things like “Well, I’m just waiting for so & so to change & then I can do xyz, and then I’ll be happy.”

The definition of insanity is doing the same tasks repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.

So why on earth do people stay in the same situations, doing the same routine day in and day out, and expect their outcomes to change?

If you want change, you have to seek it yourself. You will never grow as a person if you don’t step out of your comfort zone.


Now I realize we need money in order to live, and it’s not always easy to just quit our jobs because we’re not happy, but why do we put so much importance on financial status? We have to live in large houses and own multiple cars, and attend extravagant events so we can write about it in our Christmas letters. I mean no offense. Personally, I just don’t get it.

I would rather define my wealth on the experiences I have under my belt than by the material possessions I own. I would rather count the memories I have written in my journal, the number of sunsets I have seen, and the hours I have spent laughing rather than the money in my wallet.

I truly believe this is the key to happiness. I don’t want or need to keep up with the Jones’s, I am too focused on my own life to concern myself with what they’re up to anyway.

When we break away from societal norms and start living our lives the way we want, without caring what everyone else thinks, it’s liberating, it’s freedom!

Love & life lessons,


This entry was posted in Favorites, Lessons, This Is Me and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Soulful Sunday #13 -Nonconforming

  1. Sadje says:

    How right! As we turn into adults we need to re-examine and evaluate.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Jim Borden says:

    well said, Kristian. People are also like that about their religion, they tend to follow whatever religion their parents were, or just completely abandon religion as opposed to exploring other ones that may be a better match (I’m guilty of this myself…)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My mum is exactly like this and I don’t understand it, because her parents are pretty “out there” people. They would never stay somewhere they weren’t happy. My mums been miserable in her job for YEARS and yet she has made no applications to other jobs. Even jobs that would be great for her and she would be great at. There is always an excuse as to why she never could. She doesn’t even like some of her closest friends, but she never says no to hanging out with them. There’s always an excuse why she HAS too.
    It’s something I have never understood. I get tired of it more and more these days, because I know she’s not doing a single thing to change it and never has. So does she really hate her job THAT much? People have offered her jobs and yet she makes every single excuse as to way it’s to hard too apply for. I don’t think I know anyone who complains more about her jobs and her friends more than her, but, yet, does nothing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • kristianw84 says:

      Yep. I have a friend who does nothing but complain about an ex coworker he’s still friends with. This particular guy takes advantage of my sweet friend & I hate it. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he brings up loyalty & if he wasn’t his friend nobody would be. I appreciate his kindness, but none of those things are his fault. The guy is a really shitty person, so if all of his friends turn on him maybe he’ll be forced to take a hard look at himself because they’ll be no one left to blame. It gets tiring though, listening to him complain about the same things, yet do nothing about it! I feel you.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. neilweigman82 says:

    That’s the rebel I love! You know me, I don’t anything someone tells me. Maybe that’s why we match so well.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. says:

    I love this – I think the only reason I am who I am is because I have spent most of my life looking at my parents and figuring out what I didn’t like or want to be, and made sure I changed it. My mom has great qualities that I have, but others, I worked to change in myself. My dad didn’t have many great qualities, so I actually owe a lot to him for making me into the person I am and making sure my children were not raised with the same racist attitude. It was work and still is to be the person that I want to be – my kids have taught me a lot about that person too. Sorry I am rambling … maybe I should just write a post about that!! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • kristianw84 says:

      No worries about rambling. I truly enjoy getting to know the bloggers behind the blog! I’m so proud of you for turning those negatives into positives & realizing there are better morals & beliefs!! You should write a post about it!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Laura Beth says:

    Many people don’t like change. But, I’m finding out similar things as I grow into my 30s. I don’t want to shelter my future child or children as much as my parents did. I completely understand why they did what they did, mostly because of my prematurity and being an only child. However, it was very limiting. I learned so many things the hard way. Maybe that was the point? I’m not sure. But, I want to make sure my future offspring have more confidence and not to be afraid to talk to Al or me at any time about anything. I feel that way about my parents now, but for YEARS, I didn’t feel that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Amir says:

    Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    Once upon a time, I used to wonder what people do. Today, I still wonder, but not about people anymore. I wonder only about my words, actions and at times, my feelings too. That brought me a controllable frustration instead of the kind Kristen describes here about others. RUSH towards calling me selfish all you want but the thing is I’d give a damn about someone who does not initiate anything him/herself to fix their own shit, and looks out for handouts (or help) from outside empaths.

    Liked by 1 person

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