Before we really get into the thick of this, I just want to say this post might get a little long, but I’m baring my soul here, and how do I put a limit on that?
I do promise, however; to keep it as interesting as possible for those of you who stick it out with me!
People have a tendency to give me crap because I believe in signs, but the truth of the matter is I observe patterns of subjects, people, places, music, movies, etc… The universe, or fate, or whatever you want to call it lines things up in such a way that I can’t help but notice, and it makes me question what message it’s trying to send me.
This particular experience started some time ago when I first heard of the movie “Into the Wild.” I wanted to watch it, but never really got around to it for one reason or another, and to be completely honest, it just slipped my mind, until recently.
Earlier this year, my friend Amanda went on a road trip out west with her family. They spent many, many hours on the road, and they settled at campsites and camped for pretty much the entire duration of their trip. When she came back she was telling me how she felt better, just being out in nature, her anxiety lessened, she enjoyed the time with her son more, she didn’t feel like she needed to be on his case about school or his early adolescent behavior. (He’s a great kid, marvelous actually, but you know, every child and adolescent goes through phases.) As she was speaking I watched her body language become more relaxed, just talking about it made her eyes light up and that passion inside her was showing, and I hung on every single word that passed through her mouth as my own soul was leaping forth saying “Yes, let’s do that, let’s go, why are we still standing here?”
I have always had a desire to travel and the more I deal with people, the more I just want to get away! Not forever, but for a while. Just this morning I was cursing on my way to work about how there are just too many humans on the planet. Haha, please don’t get me wrong, I have a passion for helping people, but humanity sucks! I mean, humans in general are destroying the earth, and just this morning I cried over hearing that a suicide bomber killed 63 people and injured hundreds at a Wedding! A WEDDING! A ceremony where people come together to celebrate love & unity, and it was destroyed by some self-righteous asshole in an act of hate & violence, things that don’t belong in this world, let alone at a wedding. I really don’t think I was made for this world!
On my way to work this morning I noticed how sarcastic of a driver I become, yelling phrases like “Yep, you just go ahead and do as you please, it’s your world, we’re just living in it,” “I guess the rules don’t apply to you, mister-look-at-me-in-my-super-big-shiny-truck,” and “Yep, come on out, it’s not like I’m driving here or anything!” I had four people pull out in front of me this morning, one of which I had to hit my breaks to keep from hitting, only to have him or her go below the speed limit! Really?!?! If you’re going to pull out in front of me, please have the common decency to at least go the speed limit!!! Ugh!!! End Rant!
Back to the story
It’s funny because after listening to Amanda talk I made plans to go out west myself, next spring, but I’m flying, not driving, unfortunately. I am excited to not only hang out with my soul sister, Christen, but witness the Grand Canyon, go sightseeing, and capture desert sunsets!
A few days ago, I came across “Into the Wild,” again, and I thought to myself, I really need to watch this movie, and just yesterday Mathew, (Blog of the Wolf Boy) asked me if I had ever seen it. So I told myself, I had to see this movie, for some reason, some higher power needs for me to see this movie!
Signs, I’m telling you, signs!
(So I know this song isn’t talking about the signs I’m referencing, but it still fits into my story, and I love this song.)
After watching this movie my desire to travel is burning even greater!
First of all, the scenery in this movie is absolutely breath taking! Oceans, mountains, farms, rivers, you name it, it has it!
Secondly, the writing. Oh my gosh, this story was so well written. I took away so many quotes from this movie that just spoke to my soul:
“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.”
“The sea’s only gifts are harsh blows, and occasionally the chance to feel strong. Now I don’t know much about the sea, but I do know that that’s the way it is here. And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head.”
“Sometimes he tried too hard to make sense of the world, to figure out why people were bad to each other so often.” <- This one really got to me, I’m like that too.
“You’re pretty magic.” <- I think this might be my new favorite compliment. I’d melt into a puddle. It’s so simple, but so deep and has so much meaning!
“What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?”
This next quote felt like it was directed at me, finally all of the pieces made sense, it was as if Jon Krakauer (the author of the novel) read my soul. It was a connection, one of those Yes, someone out there gets it. Someone out there gets me moments.
“We like companionship, see, but we can’t stand to be around people for very long. So we go get ourselves lost, come back for a while, then get the hell out again.”
I need to get myself lost for a while. Not forever, but for a while. And the nice thing is that for me, it doesn’t even have to be weeks or months.
I live in the country, I am surrounded by mountains, wild flowers, and water. Why the hell am I not out there exploring?
I want to get lost under a sea of stars. I want to lie down on the grass and gaze up at the stars that shine down on the tops of pine trees. I want to dance in a field of wild flowers and make a floral crown. I want to listen to babbling brooks and search for owls and eagles. I need to do this. I need more adventures. I need to do more of what sets my soul on fire!
Back to the movie
The next thing I’ll mention about this movie is the fabulous sound track! Eddie Vedder composed his songs for this film. They are a collection of folksy and rootsy tunes, and I’ve always appreciated Eddie Vedder. I find his voice and lyrics to be hauntingly beautiful.
I’m barely scratching the surface here, there are so many quotes that will forever be etched into my heart. I highly recommend this movie if you haven’t seen it. You must see it!
I am grateful for this movie, for opening my eyes and showing me the parts that have always been there. I’ve never been one to conform to society’s ways, I’ve never been one to do something because that’s the way it’s supposed to be. My “American dream” has never been the traditional “American dream.”
I implore my nieces to never lose their adventurous spirit, and now I’m finding myself imploring my soul the same.
There is so much more I want to say, but I don’t want to give away any spoilers and as far as my spirit goes, this movie has inspired me to write poetry, so I will be sharing those at a later time.
I want to thank Amanda & Christen for understanding me in ways that no one else ever has, and for inspiring me on a daily basis to be my complete & total self. I want to take time and be out in nature with these women. I want to create more memories and build an even stronger bond with them. As strong, and as deep, and as wide as the roots of the trees in the forests we’ll get lost in.
I also want to thank Mathew, for bringing this film to light, although he didn’t realize it had been on my watch list for quite some time now, it was the last conversation we had that made me say “Okay, universe, I’m listening, I’ll watch the movie.”
Mathew also wrote a piece about this film, and he described it in better detail than I have, so I suggest you check out his beautiful post!
Thanks for hanging in there with me while I poured my soul out in ink.
Now, go explore!
Love & life lessons,