Soulful Sunday #9 – Slow Mornings and Deep Thoughts

There is something about slow mornings that I love so much, when I have nowhere to be, there aren’t numerous people calling my name and pulling me in different directions, needing me to solve a crisis or attend a meeting. The sunlight seeps in through my living room window and I bask in its light, savoring every drop of coffee as it makes its way down my throat. I love these mornings so much, in fact, that I made an entire playlist titled “Slow Mornings.  I thought I’d share a few of those songs off of said playlist with you.

Today my thoughts drift to Michael and Cara, the fictional characters I created. I don’t know why but I have this need to explain a little about the last prompt I wrote that included them. The scene was written for a writing prompt for the month of March. I really enjoy these writing prompts, because while those stories won’t make it in my actual novel, it helps me bring out their personalities, and I’m falling even more in love with them. I feel this overwhelming need to explain that particular scene was their first intimate moment together, and they had been dating for a very long time, but it was the first time they realized they had something the entire world craves. Michael got scared, but the thought of losing Cara was too much to bare and so he gave into love. That was not written in lust, the magic and strong desire for one another comes from a deep love that they share, and while I did say I put a part of myself into it, my sensual side is only a fraction of who I am. I have so many layers and so much depth, but I can assure you, love is at the very core of all of them. I deeply care for Michael, and I’ve written him in such a way that even I can’t deny he’s incredible, but I don’t lust after him.

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A couple nights ago I spent some much needed time with Amanda. I’ve spoken of her and our friendship many times, but my love for my soul sister could never grow old. She’s a refreshing glass of water, and she makes me feel sane. I can bare my darkest thoughts and feelings and she doesn’t judge me for it. We can talk about anything and nothing and it leads us to continue to learn more about each other and grow as both individuals and as friends. We had an entire conversation over an abstract throw pillow that lead into us talking about how we should be living our lives unapologetically. I’m so guilty of this. I told her that when people tell me I apologize too much, I feel the need to apologize for apologizing! What is wrong with me? I realize how ridiculous that sounds. As I continue to learn more about myself, I realize just how many sides of myself I have hidden and now that I’m starting to show more of who I truly am to the world, I feel the need to apologize for it, and it’s utterly ridiculous and I’m sick of it! She confessed the same thing and we talked about our love for dancing and the times we have stayed still out of fear of being judged, mostly by other women, how sad is that? We came to the conclusion that those women who do judge us for letting our hair down are more than likely thinking they wish they could do that, they wish they had the courage to get up on the dance floor and let the music move them. It’s so freeing to not care what other people think, and now that I’m finally getting to that point, I need to stop apologizing for it. I just don’t like to upset people, but it’s impossible to please everyone and I need to accept that as well.

I know this post is kind of long and I want to thank you all for taking the time to read it. It’s nice to know that there are people out there who truly care and I appreciate every one of you.

Let us savor more slow moments, let us live our lives unapologetically, and friends, let us truly live!

Oh, & if you have any suggestions for my slow morning playlist, please share them!

Here’s the playlist if you’re interested:

Love & life lessons,

Kristian