I came home on Sunday evening in the fall of 2008, I had a fun weekend at Octoberfest, and celebrating a friends retirement, but I was exhausted. I changed into a tank top and sweat pants, pulled my hair up in a bun, and checked Myspace, (back when Myspace was more popular than Facebook.) I received a message from Neil, and the message read something like this:
I’m not sure if you remember me, our friend’s tried to get us to meet about a year ago, and for whatever reason, it never happened. I saw you twice this weekend. Once at Octoberfest, and then again today at *Saffitickers. I knew after trying and failing to meet you for a year, I had to reach out to you after seeing you two days in a row. I hope to hear back from you.
I responded. Of course I had remembered him. My friend Jen had told me that she was over at his apartment with a few of their friends, and she was checking her Myspace. When Neil saw my picture he asked her who I was. He told her the she had to introduce us, because I was the prettiest girl he had seen in Garrett County. While I was at Octoberfest, I couldn’t shake this feeling that I was being watched. The entire night I was paranoid that it was my ex, but it was Neil!
Neil and I chatted for about a week on Myspace messenger, and then he finally asked me on a date. We went to El Canelo, and went to see Nights in Rodanthe. We spent a lot of time talking, and I instantly felt comfortable with him. We talked every day, he made me laugh, sent me flowers at work, and we hung out a few more times before we decided to make it official. On November 21st, 2008 we changed our Myspace statuses from “single” to “In a relationship.”
Neil and I spent as much time together as possible, and it didn’t take long at all for him to tell me he loved me. I didn’t want to admit that I had fallen so quickly for him. I had decided I was going to focus on me, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but it happened, and I’m very glad it.
On March 20th, 2011, Neil and I made plans to go shopping in Morgantown with our good friend Jason. Neil told me that he needed to go to the bank before we met Jason. He pulled into the Oakland Volunteer Fire Department parking lot.
“This isn’t the bank.” I said quizzically.
“I think I forgot my Wallet, I just want to make sure I have it.”
“Oh, okay.” I looked up and gave him this puzzled look because he wasn’t checking his pockets.
He pointed to the end of the parking lot and said, “You were standing in that very spot the very first time I laid eyes on you. I saw you across the crowd of people, and it was as if time stood still, the people became a blur, and all I saw was you. You were wearing a pair of blue jeans and a Halloween shirt. I remembered thinking how prettier you looked in person. You were laughing, and I knew at that very moment that one day I would ask you to be wife.” He pulled out a ring and my eyes filled with tears. Of course, I said yes!
Neil told me that he went to my dad and asked for his blessing, and my dad gave it to him, but also made it very clear that if he hurt me, he would have to answer to him.
Neil and I had a long engagement. We were married on October 1st, 2011. It was cold and rainy, and it even snowed a little, but it was a perfect day!
I have heard so many people say “Marriage is not about compromise, everyone says it is, but it’s not.”
“Give it another year or two, and you’ll be sick of spending so much time together.”
“Enjoy the dates you have before you get married, the ones you have after are not as fun.”
I disagree with all of these statements! Our marriage is definitely not perfect, and of course we fight just like any other couple, but at the end of the day there is no one else I would rather come home to. We don’t have to spend every waking moment together, but I enjoy doing everything with my husband. Shopping with him is just as much fun as shopping with my girlfriends. Don’t get me wrong, I love shopping with my girls, and I definitely need my girl time, but I often find myself thinking Neil would appreciate this, or I wish Neil was here with me. Marriage is very much about compromise, or at least a good marriage is. It’s not 50/50, it’s 100/100. I give him all of me, and he gives me all of him. We do not keep secrets from each other, we talk things out, and we never seem to run out of things to talk about. We will celebrate our 4th anniversary this Thursday, and while some may still consider us Newlyweds, I refuse to listen to the negative comments. I very much enjoy date nights with my husband, whether they are spent in or out. I would do anything for Neil, and making him happy brings me joy also, sometimes that involves compromise on my part, and I love every single minute I get to spend with my hubby, in fact; there’s nowhere else I’d rather be!
*Saffitckers is an ice cream stand on route 219 South in Oakland, Maryland.
The Song “You and I” by Michael Buble was our first dance.