Thank You Mondays. Part 1

 

Every Friday Jimmy Fallon writes ‘thank you” notes to random people or places. I have decided to take a spin on that, only my “thank you” notes will be sincere because I don’t nearly say thank you enough to the people in my life, and I will also do “Thank you Monday’s”, so I can start my week off on a positive note! My first “thank you” is to my husband.

Dear Hubby,

Thank you for being the most important person in my life. I know I am not always the easiest person to live with. Thank you for putting up with my crazy mood swings. Thank you for not complaining when the house gets messy because I would much rather lay on the couch and read, write, or watch TV rather than load the dishwasher or run the vacuum. Thank you for taking care of me when I’m sick, for running out to the store to get me Ginger Ale when putting shoes on is a chore for you. I understand how difficult it is for you to do something so “simple” for the rest of us. I GREATLY appreciate it, and it shows just how much you love me. Thank you for loving me. You have seen me at my worst, yet you’re still here, right by my side. Thank you for knowing exactly what to do when I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through the day. Thank you for understanding how emotional I am and being there for me when I get hysterical, even if it’s over something silly, like missing the end of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! Thank you for making me laugh! With the exception of the first month or so after my mom’s passing, not a day has gone by since the moment we met that you have not at least made me smile!

I cherish our inside jokes, late night conversations, and playful banter. I long for your touch, kiss, and smile every day that I’m away from you. When you laugh, that deep laugh that doesn’t happen very often, my mood instantly brightens and I want to continue doing or watching whatever it is that brings you such joy!

Thank you for giving me the best years of my life! I can’t wait to see what our future holds!

To quote Shakespeare:

“I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?”

Love always,

Your wife

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Stop the hate!

I keep seeing posts on social media about how Americans shouldn’t be outraged over refugees when we have American citizens that are homeless. Why can’t I be outraged over both? You want to talk about ways to help our homeless citizens find safe, stable, affordable housing? How about instead of spending BILLIONS of US dollars on a freaking wall to keep out refugees (that won’t work, by the way), we spend that money on finding housing for our citizens? We talk about how great this country is, can you blame immigrants for wanting to come here? If you were in their shoes, wouldn’t you want to go somewhere safe? Speaking of safe, you think you’re going to keep America safe by keeping refugees out? What about the AMERICAN citizens that have said they have sided with ISIS? Refugee does NOT equal terrorist! STOP THE HATE!!

I see so many Christians speaking of how we need to keep refugees out of America. I’m not saying that we allow every Tom, Dick, & Harry in without any kind of background check, but I do think that we need to have compassion for ALL people, just as Christ has compassion for ALL people. After all, aren’t Christians supposed to be Christ like? If you think for one second that Christ would have turned people away, you are not only part of the problem with this country, you are the problem with religion! We are supposed to lead by example, people are supposed to learn about Christ through us, Christ does NOT equal hate! STOP THE HATE!!

I also cannot stand labels. If you’re a feminist you hate males, if you are an advocate for All Lives Matter, you hate blacks (this one really doesn’t make sense to me… hence ALL lives!) If you are a rape victim you obviously did something to to allow yourself to be put into that position, if you’re conservative you’re a moron, if you’re liberal you’re a jerk, etc… STOP IT! Stop blaming the victim, stop playing devils advocate, STOP THE HATE!!!

My passion for people does not stop at the United States. Of course I want my fellow American citizens off the streets, of course I want affordable health care for all American’s, of course I want better benefits for our elderly & don’t even get me started on how angry I am over the care & benefits for our Veterans. I am & will always be proud to be an American, and I want to see this country blossom, but that does not mean that I don’t or shouldn’t care for the well-being of non-Americans. I care for the well-being of All! You do not have to agree with the choices of others, but as long as they are not harming others, what business is it of yours? Please, please…. Stop the hate! You want to end bullying, you want to end racism, you want justice and peace? Start with yourself, change what you can about you & your “world”, only then can we make THE WORLD a better place!

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

 

 

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What it’s like to be a highly sensitive and emotional person

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People are sometimes confused at how quickly I can cry, how quickly I can become attached to someone, including fictional characters. There’s one thing you must understand,  I give everything I have when it involves the people I am close to. If you are a part of my circle (and sometimes even if you aren’t) I feel things for you, I put myself in your shoes, and I feel things on a very deep level. I am not saying I completely understand what you’re going through, because I don’t, we all experience things differently, but for those of you who do not get emotional, and cannot comprehend why some of us cry at the drop of a hat, I am hoping that this well help you understand what it’s like for those of us who do.

When my mother died I did not just grieve for myself, in fact; I don’t think I truly grieved for myself until just a couple of months ago. I grieved the most for my dad, brother & aunt, but I also grieved for anyone that had the pleasure of not only knowing my mother, but considering her a friend. My mother was the most “motherly” woman I have ever met. She was kind, sweet, & loving. She had a heart of gold, and she too felt things on a deep level. She couldn’t watch the news without breaking into tears over a house that was damaged in a flood or a fire, and if there was a way she could help those people, she found it!

I cannot tell you the number of times I cried for a very dear friend who was having trouble getting pregnant, how many nights I longed to give her some sort of comfort, and feeling completely helpless because there was nothing I could do. I prayed and begged God to make her a mother, I’ve known this friend since I was 5 and I can say with certainty that the one thing she wanted most in life was to be a mommy. Finally, our prayers were answered, and just as devastated as I was for my friend that she was having difficulty conceiving, I was so overwhelmed with joy that I cried when she sent me her a picture of her first sonogram. Here we are almost 8 months later, and I still get misty eyed thinking about all that she had to go through to have her precious daughter, but it was all worth it, and that little girl is deeply loved by many, yours truly, included!

When Neil’s aunt passed away it was so unexpected, I remember I was sitting at the parking lot in Wal-Mart, I had gone grocery shopping that day, and I checked my phone and had 5 missed calls from Neil. I called him immediately, afraid that something had happened. I never dreamt it would have been those words, not Aunt P, I couldn’t believe it! I had to pull my truck over on the side of the road on the way home from the grocery store. I dearly loved aunt P, and I was devastated, but having lost my mother only 6 months prior to her death, my heart hurt the most for her children. I wanted to rush to their side and latch onto them. It’s not a fun club to be a part of, & it happened so suddenly. My heart still breaks for them as I write this!

When something tragic happens to those I hold closest to me, my heart stops for a second, I literally lose my breath, and I physically hurt for them., and in the same sense I become overjoyed when they share happy news!

I’m a lot like my mother, I am a very sensitive person, and I empathize with people. My new obsession is BBC Sherlock. Sherlock is an arrogant, self-righteous, narcissist. Not someone that most people like or get along with, however; Benedict Cumberbatch is such an amazing actor that he pulls you in, and you can’t help but like the guy. There is one episode in particular where it shows Sherlock as a little boy, and you realize the lies he’s been fed as a child, no wonder he’s the way he is, and people think that Sherlock is so cold hearted that he doesn’t feel, but that isn’t the case at all. There have been numerous times Sherlock has shown emotion, he is human. There have been a couple of episodes where I have cried right along with him. I know it’s silly, I realize he’s not a real person, but I don’t know how to not put myself in his shoes, to empathize with him and comprehend on some level the pain he is feeling, again, this is all thanks to Benedict Cumberbatch & his phenomenal acting skills, he has serious talent, and has become tied with Johnny Depp for my all-time favorite actor. He’s amazing!

When it comes to me, I am my own worst critic, and a bit of a perfectionist, so when something is not exactly the way I think it should be, I put myself down. My feelings get hurt easily because if I am willing to open up to you it means I trust you. I feel let down when others disregard my feelings or put down my ideas, and you must understand that if I’m sharing my ideas with you, it means I, being the perfectionist, self-critic that I am have thought long and hard about these ideas, so for someone to completely dismiss them makes me feel horrible. This is not to say I can’t take constructive criticism, because I can, but I always feel a little let down, I can’t help it.

Basically, for me at least, when I feel something it comes on so strongly, it hits me like a freight train. If I have ever told you “I love you.” I mean those words every time I say them. I don’t just say them because it’s what you are supposed to say. What I’m really saying is I love YOU, I love everything about you, I’m glad you are a part of my life, and when you hurt, I hurt. When you celebrate your successes, I celebrate right along with you. You’ve carved a spot in my heart, and a part of my soul belongs to you. I’ve given you a part of me, and I promise to be the best possible wife, friend, daughter, sister, niece, cousin, lover, etc… to you. I may not call as often as I should, and I may not see you as often as we like, but know this…if you are my friend or family, I love you, and I will ALWAYS be there for you, and you are a part of me, and just because I may not always reach out as often as I should, does not mean that I don’t think of you. Each and every one of you are constantly in my thoughts. I’m just really bad about putting those thoughts into actions sometimes! 🙂

I apologize for the long post, but it’s been on my heart to write this for some time now. I hope this shed a little light for those of you who are not as emotional as some of us.

Are you an emotional person, do you have any of these same thoughts or feelings when it comes to your loved ones, or just people in general?

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

Posted in Family, Friendship, Health, Love, Moi | Tagged | 12 Comments

These are a few of my favorite things #5

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The song “Time” by Pink Floyd is one of my favorites, however; that is not what this post is about.

One of my Christmas gifts to Neil was the gift of time. Every month we will set aside some time at least one whole day a month where we plan something for just the two of us. We disconnect from the rest of the world. No phones, tablets, social media, etc… As most of you know I am an old soul, as well as a hopeless romantic. In an age where everything is digital, no one writes letters and when friends get together for dinner parties, their phones are still withing arms reach. I long for connection, written letters, and deep conversations. I am as guilty as everyone else, I am constantly on my phone or tablet, reading blogs, catching up on Facebook, or writing my novel.

Neil and I are going to take turns every month planning a date night. January was his month. I took a day off work, we ran errands together (we are such adults), we had lunch out at the Greene Turtle, and then we went home and just hung out.

For February I am doing a date night in. Neil and I have never been huge on Valentines Day. We recognize the day and we might get dessert or cook a special meal, but that’s about it. So our date night will be the weekend after Valentines Day. I am going to cook a new recipe (I haven’t decided what yet), make some snacks, and watch Dr. Strange. We will spend the day playing games, asking each other random questions, and just vegging out until dinner time. It’s nice to just take some time for the everyday, mundane, and stress of life to force ourselves to relax.

What do you do to relax and unwind?

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

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52 Weeks of Gratitude, Last Post

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Week 52: Did this challenge change you?

I have always tried to be grateful for everything, so I can’t say that this challenge has changed me dramatically, however; this challenge did help me to see that I have not been the same Kristian I was before my mom passed away. I realize that’s okay, because a part of me died that day too, but when someone comes to you and says “Remember that time when the entire office was having a bad day and everyone was on edge, and you came along throwing confetti on all of our desks and it was so random, that it made every single one of us laugh, where is that Kristian? I miss that Kristian!” it is a slap in the face. I don’t want to be someone who is not happy. I want to get back to the confetti throwing, dance party for 1, singing at the top of my lungs and making heads turn Kristian. This challenge has helped me realize that I am already grateful for things and people, but it made me be grateful for the things I have inside me. I am a very kind soul, I’m a hard worker, I’m dedicated, and loyal. I have a lot to offer in every aspect. I am a great friend, employee, spouse, lover, sister, daughter, etc… I always try to be humble, I don’t like to boast, but by remaining quiet I tend to get taken advantage of. People realize I’m smart & nice, so they think they can give me more work to do, and I’ll do it with a smile and not expect anything in return, this hinders me in many ways. It weakens my spirit, it stresses me out. I should recognize my strengths, I should know the qualities that I bring to the table, and I should not only expect, but DEMAND respect! No longer will I let people abuse me and take advantage of my kindness. So I guess this challenge has changed me, just not in the way I was expecting.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I started this challenge. I am so excited to share more of my thoughts, project, and life with you, my lovely readers! As always, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you need a friend, an ear, or anything else!

Here’s to a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2017!!

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

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52 Weeks of Gratitude. Week 51

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Week 51: 100 Things to be thankful for.

In no particular order of importance, other than number one, of course!!

1.) My husband, who has been my rock in my darkest hours, who has been my light in my brightest ones, who is my entire life, and I don’t know what I’d do without him.

2.) For my family. Biological, non-biological, in-laws, all of them! They have all had a hand in shaping me to become the woman I am today, and I will always be eternally grateful for each and every one of them, and the roles they have played and will continue to play in my life.

3.) Friendships. I can count on one hand the number of true friends I have, and I am beyond blessed to know each one of them.

4.) My home. My house is not my ideal home right now, it’s small, I have no storage space, but it provides me shelter, it’s full of memories, and it’s mine & Neil’s!

5.) My vehicle.

6.) Coffee

7.) My Country

8.) My Faith

9.) Technology

10.) Books

11.) Amazon

12.) Television

13.) Blogging

14.) My skills and talents

15.) My intelligence

16.) For the people who work behind the scenes at the professions, who do not get recognized for their hard work and due diligence. Not only do I recognize you, I applaud you!

17.) For research scientists who work very hard to find cures for diseases

18.) For humanitarians who are smart enough to realize that no matter what race or gender we are, no matter what we believe, we are all human and we all deserve the same amount of respect. Kudos to you, my friends!

19.) For doctors, nurses, CNA’s, you all deal with a lot of horrible people, yet you still do whatever it takes to save lives. I admire you!

20.) For police officers, fireman, EMT’s, and anyone who risks their lives for others.

21.)Sunsets and sunrises

22.) The night sky

23.) Our universe

24.) Science

25.) Freedom

26.) Food

27.) Clean water

28.) Heat

29.) Air conditioning

30.) My job

31.) My co-workers

32.) My new, and hopefully wonderful boss

33.) My old boss, Lisa. Who I still consider a friend!

34.) For past co-workers who have made such an impact in my life, and I am glad to call a friend. Ahem, I mean you, Deb!

35.) I know I mentioned friendships, but I have to give a shout out to my people. Amanda, Ashley, April, & Khristyn…you guys are more like sisters, and I value our relationship more than you know!

36.) Date nights

37.) Girls days

38.) For New friendships & fellow bloggers & Pen Pals – Laura Beth, Nicky, B.W., Benjiman, & HappilyGeeked. You guys rock!!

39.)  Organizational Skills

40.) Common Sense (A lot of people lack this)

41.) Memories

42.) Babies

43.) Puppies

44.) Laughter

45.) Supernatural

46.) Sherlock (My new obsession)

47.) Sunshine

48.) Rain

49.) Autumn

50.) Holidays

51.) Vacation Days

52.) The 31 amazing years I got to spend with my mother

53.) Fun snail mail

54.) The Steelers

55.) The Orioles

56.) Baseball

57.) My Hometown

58.) People in the entertainment industry

59.) Jesus

60.) The birth of Ashley’s daughter, Olivia ❤

61.) All of my beautiful nieces and nephews.

62.) Life

63.) Health

64.) Music

65.) Dancing

66.) Love

67.) My values

68.) Authors

69.) Pinterest

70.) Social Media in general

71.) Tea

72.) Wine

73.) Chocolate

74.) Ice Cream

75.) Candles

76.) Perfume

77.) Hot showers

78.) Plumbing

79.) Electricity

80.) Road trips

81.) Board & card games

82.) Medicine (Herbal, natural, & chemical) I don’t take them often, but I am glad they are available when needed.

83.) Airplanes

84.) Non Profit Organizations

85.) Homeless Shelters

86.) Animal Shelters

87.) Phones, Skype, and other devices that keep me connected with family members who live far away.

88.) Life lessons

89.) Honesty

90.) Loyalty

91.) Romance

92.) Hugs & Kisses

93.) Gifts, both monetary & non-monetary, that I am able to give & also receive.

94.) Genuine Happiness

95.) Art

96.) Bright, bold, & vibrant colors

97.) Humor

98.) Knowledge

99.) Kindness

100.) Education

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

 

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52 Weeks of Gratitude. Week 50 (Catch up)

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Week 50: Lessons Learned this year

I started this challenge in February of last year because I wanted to get out of my depression from losing my mom. I have learned a lot of lessons throughout this year. Here are some of them:

1.) Life does not stop just because something traumatic happened. It’s confusing, it’s frustrating, and you will feel guilty for feeling this way, but please understand, it is completely acceptable!

2.) People will tell you that time heals all wounds, they are lying. Don’t get me wrong, these people mean well, and they are trying to comfort you, but the loss of a loved one, the break of a strong bond, is something you will never get over, however; it does get easier with time, but you will still have your days where you break down, possibly for the rest of your life…let them happen. It just means you loved so much.

3.) One day someone will come to you and tell you that you are not the same person you used to be. This will be a slap in the face for you. It’s okay that you are not the same person, and chances are you never will be exactly the same, your life has changes irrevocably, however; don’t lose sight of who you are. The person you loved, loved you the way you were, don’t let sadness and despair consume you.

4.) People that you thought you could count on to always be there no longer will be. This is a huge wake up call. Your true friends will stay beside you, they will contact your loved ones to check up on you, they will give you space when you need it, but they will no be out of arms reach. People that you once called “great friends” will fall off the face of the earth, they won’t even bother to send you a simple text message to see how your holding up. Let them fall, let them walk away, they were never truly your friend to begin with, they were only there because it was convenient for them, you don’t need them. Cling to those who truly love you!

5.) People you have looked up to, aspired to be like, etc… will disappoint you. It’s okay, they are human. Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, forgive them, and move on. You will probably disappoint someone else someday, and that’s okay too.

6.) If you are anything like me, you are overly sensitive. Embrace it, stop apologizing for it. You are a person who feels things very deeply. You love with all of your heart, when you fall in love with something whether it be a book, TV show, new recipe, etc… you will take it to extremes, you don’t do half ass when it comes to feelings. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that come your way, this is what makes you strong, this is what makes you, you!

7.) You are allowed to take time for yourself. Whatever you have waiting for you at work, whatever needs done at home, whatever is needed from you will still be there tomorrow. Take a day for yourself. Read a book, get your nails done, grab a friend and go to a cafe, whatever it is that will make you relax, do it! You deserve it.

8.) Life is unfair. You will always be knocked back down when you feel like you’ve reached the top. It is what it is. Try not to dwell on it. Dust yourself off, and enjoy life to the best of your ability. It’s your life, no one can take away your happiness. Sometimes, things will happen that is out of your control, walk away. Do what you need to do and wash your hands of it, there is no use stressing yourself out over things you have no control over.

9.) It is important to be a responsible adult. Pay your bills, go to work, keep your car and home up to par, etc… However; you should allow yourself to have some fun once in a while. Life is too short to be anything but happy, so splurge once in a while. Go take that vacation you’ve always wanted, buy the new sweater, eat dessert, go to the new restaurant that’s a little over priced. Enjoy, indulge, everything in moderation!!

10.) There will be times in your life when you have to make very important decisions. Do not make this decisions when you are angry. Allow yourself time to calm down, think about it, and in the end you have to remember that you have to do what is best for you. You may disappoint some people, you may cause others grief, but it is impossible to make everyone happy. You are no good to others if you are miserable, so don’t make any rash decisions without weighing the pros and cons, and don’t do anything important until you have something else lined up (such as leaving your job), but do what is best for you & your family. What is going to make you happy? What is the best way to provide for your family? Do whatever that is!

 

What are some important lessons you have learned?

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

 

 

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52 weeks of Gratitude. Week 49

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Week 49: Things you like about Winter

Winter is not my favorite month, but there are some things about winter that I do enjoy!

  • When fresh snow lays on the bare tress, making everything look clean and beautiful.
  • Cuddling up on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate
  • Christmas!!!!
  • Celebrating a New Year!
  • Winter foods, such as soup, chili, gingerbread, and spiced teas & lattes.
  • The clear night skies…so many stars!
  • Sweaters
  • Lounging in sweat pants
  • Fuzzy pajamas

what do you like about winter?

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

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These are a few of my favorite things #4

Have you guys ever seen “Kid Snippets” by Bored Shorts on YouTube? I highly recommend you check them out if you haven’t already! I love these!! I am going to share a few of my favorites with you!

I hope you guys enjoy these as much as I do. I laughed so hard the first time I saw them!

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

Posted in Things I love | Tagged | 1 Comment

Gratitude Challenge. Weeks 46-48

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Week 46: Technology

I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love it when it works and I hate it when it doesn’t. I think this is true for everyone.

I am grateful for technology though. I don’t know how people collected data before technology. I can’t even fathom having to keep track of everything I have to report on by hand! Oh my gosh, I would never be home! Thank God for spreadsheets!!

My friend Ashley and I were talking about women who are trying to conceive. I have an app that I am currently using, again if I had to keep track of all my girly stuff without the app, I’d be lost. In a way that’s sad, I don’t want technology to replace everything, I’m an old soul, I enjoy the classics like snail mail, simply spending time together, reading an actual book, but I’m thankful for smart phones, computers, printers, etc….

Week 47: Opportunities You’ve been Given:

I am grateful for every opportunity I’ve been given. From playing clarinet in a band starting in the 5th grade, to my promotion at work. Every single opportunity that has been handed to me (whether I’ve taken it or not) has helped shaped me into the woman I am today!

Week 48: Your job

Man oh man, this couldn’t have come at a better time. It surely did stop me in my tracks! I am grateful for my job. I am grateful that i work with such amazing people, I am grateful that I receive a paycheck (even if I think it should be higher for the amount of work I do), I am grateful for the promotion into management. I am bummed because my favorite co-worker retired, I am bummed because my boss resigned, I’m feeling overwhelmed because I am trying to keep things in my department running smoothly, I am stressed because I am trying to do the jobs of 4 different people (the agency still hasn’t hired my replacement fr my old job). I am currently torn on whether I want to stick it out a little more to get experience, or if I should use the experience I have, my talents, and my passions to peruse something else. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my job, & I’m sure things will calm down once we hire new people, I’m just a little worried that things aren’t going to run the way they did before. We all had this rhythm, we worked great together, we were a team, we were a family, now that family is broken, and it’s a bit scary!  Do I stay & help rebuild this family, or do I go where I’m more appreciated by the higher ups, who recognize my potential and value my work, and probably make more money and receive better insurance benefits. The one thing I absolutely love about the job I have now is that I get a ridiculous amount of time off, & since I do want to start a family, it would be nice to be able to have that time. I just don’t know. I have a lot to think about!

Love & life lessons,

Kristian

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